Step in the Right Direction

Ever since I started on the leave of absence I just wanted to return to work. Yesterday, I realized that I am in no condition to return to work. I started thinking about just how exhausted I am. I kept being told not to use being tired as an excuse. Unfortunately, it was the truth. Think about how you feel when you don't get much sleep... how irritable you are. Then think about that lasting for an extended period of time. This has been going on for over a year now. If I went back now I would be in the same position as when I left. That isn't beneficial to anyone.

Today I was thinking about how different things would be if I had received appropriate medical treatment from the beginning. It's been a month now and there is no change. But if they had started with the Fibromyalgia and the fatigue then I'd be in better shape now and might even be ready to return to work. Better yet... not said that Fibromyalgia is a symptom of a psychiatric disorder and then turned me away. As a result I will be off work for an extended period of time and a month later I am still right where I started.

On the way to the doctor today we were looking for a sound card. After a couple of stores and no luck we ended up at the first place I had thought of on the way, Best Byte in Whitby. Picked up the sound card and just have to install it now. The Gateway computer is gradually becoming anything but. Okay not quite... but the DVD-ROM will be removed for the I/O port on the card. Hopefully soon I will also be adding in the 2 serial drives. On the way home tonight we also picked up another keyboard and mouse (not that I really needed another set since we seem to have a collection) but it came with a free copy of Quick Tax and cost less then buying the software. Good deal in my world.

But now for the important part... the doctor's appointment. As of right now I have a family doctor again. Okay, so driving to Pickering is a bit of a pain, especially since I don't drive. But it's a start. So, what did the doctor say? I'll start with what he didn't say. He did not say that Fibromyalgia is in my head. Finally, I didn't feel marginalized. Now, since it was a first visit it was more of a meet and greet. But he admitted that he wouldn't treat fibromyalgia. Now that statement makes it seem pretty hopeless. In reality it gave me a lot of hope. The reason he said he wouldn't treat it is because he doesn't know enough about it to treat it properly. So rather then play russian roulette healthcare he is going to refer me to a rheumatologist for treatment. So that was great news. He wants me to contact UWO about getting my medical records so that the bloodwork will not need to be redone. The only information he wants is the notes made by the rheumatologist the first time around. That way treatment can be effective. Gives me something to do tomorrow. Once the records are sent to him it will be time to come back in for a follow-up appointment. At that point he also wants to switch up the medication. He did not agree with me being put on Oxazapam but did not want to change medications until he saw the medical records to see if there was a legitimate reason for a benzodiazapine. Assuming there is nothing in the records he wants me on Trazodone. Apparantly, it's not so good as an anti-depressant but seems to work well for restoring stage 4 sleep. It also seems to work for the pain as well. Overall, it was a good thing.

Tomorrow I will be calling my alma matter about my medical records. I'm not sure what that will cost me but I need it for treatment. Hopefully, it only takes a couple of weeks to get the records to the doctor. Then I'll be back in and eventually off to see a rheumatologist.

As far as work goes... for now I am leaving that side of things to Dr. Caskey. That may sound odd to anyone reading this. At the moment I am not ready to go back to work and since Dr. Caskey was the initial physician he is the one I need to write the medical certificate indicating when I was off work and why. The hard part is that Dr. Caskey is on vacation and can't sign the certificate so it may be 6 weeks before I have any money from EI. The alternative is going to spend some more time in the ER to see the psychiatrist again. Without knowing the complete story I didn't want to put Dr. McLean in the position of determining my fitness to return to work. My goal in going there was to get the treatment for the Fibromyalgia. Well that and getting a family doctor. It was a gamble either way. I figured my better call was to begin the process of being treated for the Fibromyalgia and let the psychaitrist be the one to clear me to return to work. Hopefully by the time I see the psychiatrist I will have already begun treatment with the trazodone. Time will tell how this plays out. The important thing is that I will be treated for the fibromyalgia. :o)